Memories and nostalgia for 'home'…California?

Although I try not to indulge my personal ramblings on this blog, sometimes after I’ve been thinking over things for a while I feel I have to write about them. I have been ridiculously homesick for the last month. It tends to happen every year about now, mainly because the sun does not exist in the U.K. and happy posts from friends in the United States about how much they are enjoying their summers constantly makes me question why I live on this gloomy, grey island instead of the warm homelands of Los Angeles!

My favorite thing in Venice http://www.borofsky.com/index.php?album=ballerinaclown

This issue is not helped by the fact that most people I work with and befriend in the U.K. also typically question if I might be slightly insane to consider living here long-term instead of in California.

Besides being in desperate need of a real summer season, I’ve started to wonder if California is really all that it’s been made out to be in my mind. It has literally been ages (not to do myself a disservice) since I lived in LA. Neither history nor memory can ever be exact replicas of time, and mine will always be interpreted constructions of past situations tinged by my personal experiences and emotions. My memories are mainly re-informed by my trips back to visit friends, which are filled with nostalgia for the architecture, the weather, and the attitude of Californians. I still call myself a Californian after all this time. 

The truth is I’ve lived all of my adult life away from California. My intellect and first adult friendships were formed in the bitter frozen tundra of upstate New York. My adventures have taken place all over the world. The personality dust has pretty much settled, and my key characteristics were mainly formed on the cynical streets of London. My surroundings are constantly informing my mood, ideas, and how I relate to my environment, but there are still the roots of some deeply buried feelings that make me nostalgic for the rose-tinted vision I have of growing up in LA.

I want that perfect mix of beach weather, delicious food, and unlimited social possibilities, without the vapid personalities, unending traffic, and non-stop film industry talk. Home is really an embodiment of the ideals we find most important. The things we feel we’re missing out on are really what we tend to long for when we think of home. Little things like nice weather and being outdoors are what I’m missing most, but perhaps it’s time to focus on the virtues of my adopted home for the moment.

LAX Airport